March 30th, 2004

nicki window

Waste the hours in an off hand way

I've been wasting my time. Wasting a LOT of my time. But it's been making me happy and relaxed and it makes me not snack.

I don't think there is anything wrong with this. It's making me happy, and despite the fact I look back and the day and there is nothing been done, I also look back at the day and realize I enjoyed it all.

I'm still finding time to take care of myself, eat, exercise, to take care of nicki, and to interact with greg. I'm still taking care of the trash and the things that need to be done, but nothing more.

I'm not going to do it forever, in fact I'll stop at the end of the summer and once it gets warm I'm going to make sure that I'm wasting my time in other summery ways as well.

I've been told it's wrong, that I'm wasting my potential, just doing nothing but playing games, but I think, for a few months, it will be ok. Society doesn't really want me right now, anyway.
  • Current Music
    Time -- Pink Floyd
nicki window

First voice lesson

I went to my first voice lesson today. I won't get what I'd hoped out of this class, since she's trying to be too acepting of a varring range of talent, but I think I will get somethings. Sadly I seem to know mroe of the basics than I thought, and there will be quite a bit of repetion with the thigns I've learned from my brief exposures to choirs. The thing I think I will learn is better musical memory. I have this problem that I can't remember very well even if a song goes up and down and she's planning on teaching us a lot of folks songs I've never heard by ear. This will hopefully make me learn how to notice the direction of the change and learn my down intervals (my up intervals seems to be reaonsable. Plus I will finally get a professional say on what my range and part actually is, instead of guessing that I'm mezzosoprano. I'm also scared to the point that my voice is weak and out of tune. I'm hoping this will go away really soon now. It's scarier than when I sang on stage. Possibly since I don't have another vvoice to hide behind.