As much as I've grown more confident in my playing, I still don't think that anyone out there wants a floutists or clarinetist that can't sight read, can't memorize with out lots of time and doesn't practice on her own time. My drumming, sax-o-ma-phone and singing aren't up to par to playing with a group that isn't very understanding. I can't write songs, so I can't go do my own side projects. I can't play an instrument that establishes both key and rhythm, so I can't lead band.
I have a sad feeling that this chapter in my life is ending. That the instruments will go back on the shelf until such time as another miracle like Mazer comes along. Relearning is going to be so hard. Learning improvisation ment that I wasn't comparing myself with what I was in grade school. It made it easier to struggle through relearning.
If I had spare money, I'd join the taiko group, but I don't. It might also be very frustrating since I'm a slower learner than the average person.
I'm also going to miss seeing the people in the band every week, because given my life I might be lucky to see them once every two months.
Maybe I should have semi-regular jamming parties or something. Maybe jazz band will start again and pick up a little.