I'm pretty nervous about the show tomorrow. I don't know why. I've played the songs enough times to know them. I think part of it is I don't have any excuses. I should know these songs solidly, with good form. I've had plenty of practice, but I still don't feel like I really have them. Part of this nervousness is good. if I don't have some, I mess up royally, but some of it makes me worry that it's not causing me to productively clean up some of my problems. I should be in the living room right now, fixing the ways my arms swing or the speed at which I can play a certain line.
On another note, mwerble volenteered me (and her) to play something I hadn't practiced in a long time for only the second time with live drums. The first time left me crying. This time left me shaking and completely strung out on adrenaline. I did much better this time, but my lack of serious preperation really showed. I don't know what the members thought. Oh well. Maybe someday I'll actually get to play that song with enough warning to be ready for it.
I'm a mix of hope and humbleness for the new year. I'm looking forward to our show in May, since they've said they want to try to include as many people as can play each song well enough. I'm also hoping to get my own song learned well enough to hear it live. I might also try to compose a shakuhachi piece and them present it with no pressure to include it ever to Mark. I'm sure they'll have Marco for the May show, and I'm no Marco. It will be interesting to see what the next year brings.