Someone I am is waiting for my courage (forgotten_aria) wrote,
Someone I am is waiting for my courage
forgotten_aria

Trust in one's self

People talk a lot about self-esteem, but, after watching a parkour video, I realized that I am also missing self-trust.

Watching them do things that if they make one mistake could lead to there death makes me realize that I've never been able to trust my mind and body to not make frequent stupid mistakes. The two times in my life that I got seriously hurt was me thinking "Oh come on, you're just being a chicken."

Even now with taekwondo, I can't do anything all out, not because I don't know how to use my torso to throw power into my limbs, but because I'm afraid my limbs can't take it.

We were doing partner stretches the other day and my partner pulled just a little to hard and something in my leg went twang. I'm trying to train up to doing a pull up, but what ever is wrong with my shoulder such that I can do arm swings also seems to hate pull ups.

I've been thinking a lot lately about my childhood and if there were a way I could have been a stronger, more active child. Was it social pressures that made me assume someone of my weight couldn't be good at sports (which in hindsight is stupid, I really should have gotten into weightlifting or something.) Or was it more that I can't trust my body and that my body takes a long time to build muscle and heal.

I think it is true that, even though I am extremely thankful that I am able bodied, my body has never been my friend.
Tags: fitness, self-trust
Subscribe

  • Birthday presents and software that "upgrades" into uselessness

    So until I found this video and became obsessed with the thing taped to her body, my only Birthmonth gift to myself was a power floor washer/vaccum…

  • mead update

    I emailed Julio's liquor and got the following response: Unfortunately, Moniack Mead is not available through our distributors in Massachusetts. I…

  • good mead

    Anyone know of a wine shop in the area that might import mead from the UK? It's Moniack Mead and it is SO GOOD. I can get it in Canada, but because…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Comments allowed for friends only

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

  • 1 comment